the film blog that's officially banned by the Chinese government!

27 August 2011

SOMETHING BORROWED: no really, it's ok. You can keep it.

A guy who looks somewhat like Tom Cruise can't decide which of two puffy-faced girls he's really in love with. Much bed-hopping, emotional angst and hilarity ensues as he tries to make up his mind. Ok, I made up that last bit. The hilarity fails to materialise - unless you're really really easily entertained.
SOMETHING BORROWED is a cookie-cutter rom-com/dramedy possessing not even a flicker of a  spark of originality. The path that the aforementioned Cruise lookalike Dex (Colin Egglesfield) takes to discover his true love is entirely predictable while the three main characters are so unappealing that they totally fail to engage our interest or empathy. Dex is standard issue Hollywood rom-com beefcake - well built, blandly handsome and completely unthreatening - while the two gals in his life are so uninspiring that it's a real mystery why they'd provoke a tingle in the loins of even someone as dull and routine as Dex.
Kate Hudson plays Darcy, his drunken, slutty, party-loving superficial girlfriend, without much enthusiasm. It's as if she knows this project is a turkey and she's not going to bust a gut trying to save it. Ginnifer Goodwin is the serious, dowdy, limp-as-a-soiled-dishrag Rachel, Darcy's best friend since childhood and carrier of a secret torch for Dex. Hmmmm, I wonder which of them will wind up with him at the final fade-out?
The only thing that kept me watching this yawnfest was Hudson's head. Unless there was something wrong with the aspect ratio on my 47 inch tv Katie's noggin now resembles a large squashed pumpkin. She looks like a blousy, bottle-blonde 40 year old rather than the vivacious 30 year old sexpot she's supposed to be playing. Meanwhile her romantic rival Goodwin has all the sex appeal of Tina Fey, and I don't mean that in a good way. It's not a pretty picture, believe me.
I almost forgot to mention John Krasinski (Jim in the US tv version of 'The Office') as Ethan, Rachel's best friend and confidante. I thought he was supposed to be one of Hollywood's rising stars so it's difficult to understand why he's taken what is clearly a supporting role (and not even supporting A-list talent) playing a part which has traditionally been reserved for the leading lady's gay best friend.  
Boring, unlikeable characters and a predictable plot make SOMETHING BORROWED neither romantic, comedic nor dramatic. If this film were a lawnmower that my neighbour had borrowed I'd be ecstatic to be rid of it.

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