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14 May 2011

NO STRINGS ATTACHED: circular blandness

Most romantic comedies tend to follow a similar, reasonably predictable path. Boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, boy and girl get together, they break-up, boys wins girl back, and fade out. Few however follow quite such a circular pattern as NO STRINGS ATTACHED from veteran comedy director Ivan Reitman.
Watching it felt like essentially the same scene being repeated over and over for an hour and 48 minutes. Adam (Ashton Kutcher) meets Emma (Natalie Portman) repeatedly over the course of 15 years. Adam falls for Emma but she has serious commitment and intimacy issues and persuades him to settle for friends with benefits.Cue an interminable montage of them screwing in all kinds of locations, before Adam pushes his desire for a proper relationship just a little too hard and they split up. But of course she's not as tough as she thinks she is and so, with unseemly haste, she runs back into his arms.
Ok, so this brief synopsis would seem to suggest that the plot is perhaps more linear than I first indicated but - believe me - it doesn't feel that way watching it. It's also difficult to fathom exactly what it is that Adam sees in Emma that keeps him knocking at her door for 15 years. She's cold, hard and emotionless, and it's not as if he's so unappealing that no one else will have him. The film attempts to tackle this objection by showing Adam that the only other women can attract are shallow bimbos and good-hearted kooks with overlarge mouths. It's just not credible, but then neither is Emma's final conversion to the wonders of emotionally engaged love.
It's no easy task to develop an opinion on Kutcher's screen presence since he doesn't really have one. He's sort of just there, delivering his lines and avoiding the furniture. He's a pretty face without much personality, inoffensive but unmemorable. Portman reveals her rarely seen lighter side and while she proves herself competent at comedy she's no Jennifer Aniston. And both of them are too old to be convincing as teenagers! Kevin Kline is wasted in an underdeveloped cameo as Adam's lecherous, self-centred dad. I kept expecting him to do or say something funny but he never did.
I've already devoted more attention to this film than it deserves so I'll say no more other than it is only to be recommended for the very easily entertained.

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